


Stay

by Cadburytrooper96



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: so3e18 The Beast Within, I'm dying, M/M, Magnus figures shit out, Malec, Spoilers, They really gonna do my boys like that?, Yes officer this episode right here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 18:38:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18504751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cadburytrooper96/pseuds/Cadburytrooper96
Summary: Magnus knows his lover like the back of his hand. He knows when Alec is angry, when he’s sad, when he just needs to be held and he definitely knows when he’s hiding something.Episode 3x18 where instead of breaking up, Magnus figures shit out because things aren't adding up and Alec isn't making any damn sense.





	Stay

"There is no fixing this.”

Those five words inflict more pain than any torture the Clave could think of. Magnus feels like he can’t breathe. Like all the air in the room is being sucked out and he’s struggling for breath. 

“You said there’s nothing I can do to make it better.” Alec continues and that’s just another punch in the gut. Guilt wells up within him and once again, he regrets letting things get that far the other night. 

“It’s not your job to make it better.” He replies.  _ It’s not your job to fix me. _

_ “ _ Then what am I supposed to do?” Alec asks, his voice wavering. “Just...stand by and watch you suffer for the rest of our lives?” Magnus can’t decide which is worse, hearing the obvious pain in his boyfriend’s voice or the fact that even when he’s breaking up with him, Alec still says ‘our lives’ instead of ‘your life’ because even now, he’s still thinking of his future in terms of ‘us’.

“This isn’t you.” Magnus replies, desperation welling up in him. “You’re not this selfish. Days ago, you told me you couldn’t bear to lose me.” Alec looks away and Magnus forces himself to look closer, to look behind the words Alec is saying to the ones he’s  _ not. _

His body language is stiff and his eyes seem to dart to everywhere except his face. They might not have been together for long but Magnus knows his lover like the back of his hand. He knows when Alec is angry, when he’s sad, when he just needs to be held and he definitely knows when he’s hiding something.

“What aren’t you telling me, Alexander?” Magnus asks harshly and Alec’s eyes widen by just a fraction but it’s enough to let him know he’s right. 

“Nothing. Look, days ago, I didn’t know the spark inside you, the one I fell in love with was out for good.” Alec replies just as harshly and his eyes burn with tears. Alec starts to leave but Magnus holds him back because he can’t, he  _ won’t _  lose him. “Magnus, just let me do this.” Alec pleads and he sounds exactly like he did when he begged to be here for him. 

“No.” Magnus pleads in return. “I’ve lost everything, I’ve lost my home, m-my job, m-my powers, I can’t lose you too. Especially when I know that you’re lying to me because the Alexander  ** I **  fell in love with, the man who defied the rules he upheld all his life to be with me, wouldn’t do this.” He says softly, cupping Alec’s face in his hands. He can feel Alec shaking beneath his palms and he knows he’s right.

“Magnus, I-I can’t. Please.” Alec begs, his eyes closed and his forehead resting against Magnus’ but he doesn’t make a move to leave and that says everything he’s not saying. 

“You can’t not you won’t.” Magnus notes and Alec freezes. He tries to move then but Magnus is holding on tight. “What are you hiding from me, darling? We can fix it together but you need to let me in. Is someone making you do this?”

“Magnus, don’t-”

“They are, aren’t they?” Magnus says, his confidence growing. Alec doesn’t mean the words he’s  said,  he’s just trying to protect him but why? It can’t be the  Clave,  Alec has stopped giving a fuck about them ages ago so who could it-  _ Fuck. No, no he didn’t. _

“You went to see him, didn’t you?” Magnus asks gently, already knowing the answer to his question. Alec inhales sharply and his deepest fears come true. “What did he ask for? What did you agree to? Alec, I swear if you gave yourself to him for me-”

“Our relationship.” Alec says tightly and Magnus’ eyes well up with tears. “He-He said that I would be the death of you, that you gave up everything for me and it was all my fault and he was right-”

“Alec.” Magnus says in a broken whisper but Alec keeps going. 

“Your magic means everything to you, it’s more important than me and I get it, I do which is why you’re going to let me do this because I just  ** need **  you to be happy.” Alec finishes, a tear streaking down his face. “I’m not enough for you and I can’t stand-” His voice breaks and Magnus can’t take it anymore. 

“I love you, Alexander. I choose you.” He says earnestly, not caring about the tears trickling down his cheeks or his probably ruined makeup. “And I know I’ve been difficult and selfish-”

“Magnus-”

“-but don’t you  ** dare **  think you aren’t enough.” Magnus finishes. “If I could do it again, I would because I know you’ll be here with me so just...” His hands go down to his shirt and Magnus holds on for dear life. “Stay with me. Okay?” He begs. “You’re all I have, all I want. Please.”

“Okay.” Alec replies shakily and Magnus pulls him in for a kiss, desperate to feel Alec’s lips against him, desperate to know that this is real. Alec is just as desperate, his hands fisting in his jacket to pull him closer. He can taste the salt from their intermingled tears but it feels like coming home. They finally pull apart for air and Alec wraps his arms around him. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of  it.  I didn’t know what to do, I just wanted you to be happy.” Alec chokes out and Magnus holds him closer. 

“I know and I’m sorry. You didn’t know how bad it was because I didn’t say.” He replies, his body still trembling. “Just...please don’t leave me. I can’t do this without you, Alexander.” He whispers into his boyfriend’s shirt. It makes him sound weak but he’s tired of keeping the front that he was happy when he wasn’t especially seeing as it had gotten them here.

“Never. If you’ll still have me, I’m never leaving.” Alec replies fiercely. They still have a lot to talk about and Magnus is going to be pissed at his actions after they reassure each other of their love and devotion later tonight. Alec is going to have to face the fallout that comes from summoning the Prince of Hell and Magnus is going to have to learn to let Alec in but they have each other and for now, in this moment, that is more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> My gf: 'You can't just write fanfic and pretend it never happened, babe.'  
> Me: 'That's where you're wrong, kiddo.'
> 
> Seriously, I couldn't focus on my final cause I was dying over these two. Harry and Matt sold this scene a little too well and we're all suffering for it. Also, I have never sat down and watched this show in full, I know everything I know from the handful of season 2 episodes and thousands of Malec videos/fics I've imbibed and I hope it isn't obvious.


End file.
